And I Was Left Alone
by ellesmer.joe3
Summary: Elena Gilbert has lost everything: her parents, her aunt, and now her humanity. She's finally turned it off, and she's happy that she has, at first; but when a certain Original decides to make her question everything she's ever done, will she find the strength to turn it back on? Slight AU! ElijahxElena pairing
1. Chapter 1 - A Movie Script Ending

**It's about time I've posted up another story eh? xD**

**Anyway, this is my first TVD story, but not my first time writing, so you don't have to worry about it sucking ;)**

**I've been shipping Elena and Elijah for quite some time now. In fact, the first time Elena met Elijah, I knew they were perfect. I really hate Katherine though. Elijah deserves better. He deserves Elena! :D**

**Aaaalright, back to the story.**

**I suggest you listen to "A Movie Script Ending" by Death Cab For Cutie. :)**

**enjoy~!**

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><p><strong><em>Whenever I come back<em>_, __the air on railroad __is making the same sounds.__  
><em>_And the shop fronts on Holly __are dirty words; __asterisks in for the vowels__._**

I don't know when I woke up, but when I did, everything was so… _delicate_; the light bulb shining above me that pulsated waves of heat I doubt I would have seen them without a magnifying glass, the paint on the roof and the walls that were so uneven I could point out most of them, the nurses and doctors bustling about outside.

But the very first thing I thought was: what happened?

**_And we peered through the windows, new bottoms on barstools._**

What happened to me? What happened to Matt? Where were Stefan and Damon? Where was I, why was I here…

_Oh god._ Everything came back to me in torrents. We were driving, Matt and I, on the road, when suddenly… Rebekah. Matt lost control and then…

_No._ I was off the table in a flash, the wet hair that clung to the cold metal of the stand pulling off like sand off of skin. No needles were stuck into me. No alarming sounds penetrated my hearing. I could get out of there without anyone noticing. I just wanted to see Matt; that was all. I wanted to see him alive and moving and breathing, his heart beating, and the blood in his veins warm and pumping through and through.

**_The people __remain the same__, __with prices inflating, inflating._**

My feet carried me out the door and into the hallway/intersection of the hospital. I looked around, looking for that familiar mess of dusty blonde hair that I had come to know and love.

I found it in a second or so, along with two other heads, one bronze, one black. A wave of relief flooded through me. Running towards them, I barely noticed the flesh that rubbed against my damp skin as I pushed both women and children out of my way, just wanting to hug my friend who could have died if it wasn't for the vampire that loved me—_used_ to love me.

_**As if saved from the gallows, there's a bellow of buzzers.**_  
><em><strong>And people stop working, and they're all so excited, excited.<strong>_

Matt's eyes widened when he saw me coming towards them, and I spotted him taking a step back behind Stefan, who had crossed his arms and pursed his lips. I stopped dead in my tracks, confused by their behaviour. Didn't they want to see me as much as I wanted to see them? The older Salvatore took a step towards me. His intense gaze seemed to burn into me as I returned it with a look of hurt.

He offered me a sad smile. "I'm sorry, Elena."

**_Passing through __unconscious__ states.__  
><em>_When I awoke, I was on the high-way,__high-way, high-way, high-way…_**

That was when it hit me. I knew what hospital I was in. It was where Meredith Fell worked. _Meredith Fell…_ AKA the woman who made her patients drink vampire blood for them to survive. And I was there… was she the one who nursed me?

_No…_ "We never wanted this to happen." Damon said, his usually enthusiastic voice that had changed into a deathly low one snapping me from my thoughts. "Stefan was there, it's just that… he wasn't fast enough." No words escaped my mouth as I let this sink in. What were they trying to tell me?

"Elena," Stefan started, stepping away from Matt and closer to me. "I was going to get you. I was. But you told me to get Matt first, and I—"

"You let me die."

**_With your hands on my shoulders__, __a meaningless movement.__  
><em>_A movie script ending.__  
><em>_And the patrons are leaving, leaving…_**

I couldn't believe it. The creatures that I had come to believe in, the ones that I had loved, the ones that had betrayed me, that had killed most of my family, the creatures that killed millions around the world and not me…

I was one of them now.

And _Stefan_ had let me die.

The sense of betrayal that coursed through me was incredible. I could have sworn that I could have knelt there and cried my eyes out because of his treachery for a _week_, maybe more. I expected it from Stefan, not Damon though. Why wasn't he there with him? He could have saved both Matt's and my asses if he was! Was he out in a strip club doing what he did best? Flaunting his dick to sluts of all ages?!

"Elena, you're making a scene." Damon said in a hushed tone. My head snapped up sharply. The Salvatores definitely weren't overreacting about the heightened senses. Because even in the shadowy lights of the hallway I could see every speck of dust that floated above our heads. _Making a scene?_ I started walking towards the bastards that had let me be made into what I was now. My heart clenched, because there were so many different feelings that coursed through me: anger, sadness, fear…

Hate.

**_Passing through unconscious states.__  
><em>_When I awoke I was on the high-way__, __high-way, high-way, high-way…_**

And I was just about to slap both of the brothers when Damon's hands rested on my shoulders heavily, an apologetic look on his face. "Elena," his eyebrows furrowed, and something told me that if I were still human I would be able to forgive him. "We will do _everything_ we can to find a way to change you back. We already talked about it with Bonnie, and she—"

My hands shoved his off of my shoulders as roughly as they could have. I looked Damon straight in the eye. "I don't want your help." Then to Stefan. "Or yours." Finally, my calculating gaze fell to Matt, and I saw that he was terrified. Slightly, _ever so slightly_, I softened up. "And I don't blame you, Matt."

"But you two, know this: that I'll _never_ forgive you for this." I let all the rage I had ever felt for the Salvatore brothers right into that single statement, and it seemed to have worked. They both looked down, and I walked past them, slipping past Matt, but not before planting a kiss on his cheek that was supposed to show my forgiveness, nothing more, and nothing less.

**_And now we all know the words were true__, __in the sappiest songs, yes, yes.__  
><em>_And I'll put them to bed, but __they won't sleep__; __just shuffling the sheets._**

**_To __toss and turn__, __you __can't begin to get it back._**

Right after I exited the doors of the hospital, I found myself driving mercilessly through the highway, pedal on the floor and hands tight on the steering wheel.

I found that I was so desperate for some kind of release, for some kind of help that the Salvatores, no matter how hard they tried, had ever given me before. Only one name came to mind… and it was the name I had least expected.

I had never expected my feelings for him to come to _this_. We were only friends, well, _less_ than friends after what he did to me in the woods. He had left me in that cave with Rebekah, his evil sister that so badly wanted to kill me. Imagine I and her, stuck in this tiny-ass cave _underground_. It was a miracle I was still alive at the end of the day.

**_Passing through unconscious states…_**

But he… he loved Katherine. And it's not like I wanted him to love me or anything, but our situation was complicated enough after that letter he left on my bed, why should he help me with my problem when I had so unfaithfully lied to him about Esther's intentions?

Who else would I turn to though? Damon and Stefan were out of the picture, I never wanted to talk to them again. Caroline would go _crazy_ if she found out about me, but she probably already did, didn't she? No use going to her and explaining things then. Bonnie probably already hates me by now because of my transformation. Rebekah was a big no-no. Klaus an even bigger one.

**_When I awoke, I was on __the onset of a later stage__…_**

_Him_ then. He was my only choice. I knew that he hadn't left. I spotted a blur by the corner of my eye often enough to know that it was him still watching over me.

So why was I so reluctant to just drive to his house and knock on his door?

Was it because there was this huge pit in my stomach that was just _daring_ me to go in there and face my fears? Probably.

**_The headlights are __beacons on the high-way__…_**

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><p><strong>Review :)<strong>


	2. Chapter 2 - Mrs Brightside

**Listen to Mr. Brightside - The Killers while reading this one ;)**

**I DO NOT OWN THE VAMPIRE DIARIES OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS HERE.**

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><p><strong><em>I'm coming out of my cage, and I've <em>_been doing just fine__._**

**_Gotta, gotta get down because __I want it all__._**

My feelings for him bloomed when I found my feet on his porch, my knuckle inches from knocking on the oak door of the Originals' mansion. I had watched Caroline and Stefan enough times to know that I only needed to listen harder for my vampire hearing to activate itself. And using this, I found that only Elijah and someone else were inside. The other was a female, not Rebekah. This one's breathing was rough and uneven. Honestly, I couldn't have cared less about who it was.

That was when I let my mind wander.

**_It started out with a kiss. How did it end up like this?_**

**_It was only a kiss… __it was only a kiss__…_**

When we first met, he had almost kissed me. I knew that he was planning to, because just before he lowered his nose to smell my neck, his lip had brushed against mine. It was as light as a balloon slipping off water, but it had been enough to send a shiver down my spine. I knew why he had done it though. He thought I was Katherine, his beloved Katerina, being her doppelganger and all. He had done it to find out whether I was human or not.

But now, after all that's happened these past few months, I didn't know what to think anymore.

Our awkward and stiff interactions had slowly evolved into something more, something that I didn't know the name to. He had protected me, _trusted_ me, and I had trusted him. When Katherine came back though… it all changed. He quickly drifted away from me, and so did his companionship. It was what happened to good people who spent so much time with that bitch of a Petrova.

Why Elijah though?

And why was I on his doorstep, so willing to let him help me, so trusting?

I was snapped from my thoughts when I heard glass shattering from inside. My hand quickly dropped back to my side, and I opened the door without hesitation, prepared for the physical attack that I had expected to come.

But it wasn't physical. It wasn't spiritual. It wasn't anything mental…

Elijah stood there, his hand curled around Katherine's neck, holding her pinned against a shattered mirror. Glass shards surrounded their feet, but they seemed not to notice. They were too lost in each other's eyes to notice.

That was when Elijah leaned in, and when their faces were only inches from each other, Katherine made the final move, and their lips connected.

**_Now __I'm falling asleep__, and __she's calling a cab__._**

**_While __he's having a smoke__, and __she's taking a drag__._**

I looked away, this strange feeling in my chest. It wasn't anything good. It _hurt_. So, so much. Now I knew why Damon had decided to turn off his humanity switch before. How could he have lived like this for a hundred years? It felt like someone was squeezing my heart with heated tongs. Or like someone was scratching it with sandpaper. Or like people were putting nails through it from all sides. Or maybe I felt these all at once as I heard Katherine moan out Elijah's name in complete ecstasy.

**_Now they're going to bed._**

**_And my stomach is sick, and __it's all in my head__._**

What had I expected to happen? That Elijah would come out here for me in the rain and take me in his arms so that we would live happily ever after? That he would hold my hand and lead me inside into the warmth of his home with all honesty? No. No, this was bound to happen eventually. Elijah loved Katherine. She would always be his Katerina, no matter how many times I told him that she would never change.

**_But she's touching __his chest now._**

There was another noise, one that I wouldn't have wanted to hear in a million lifetimes.

It was the sound of shoes hitting the floor, followed by the soft reverberations of clothes being slid off by one or the other. It didn't matter anymore. They were both going to sleep together, and Katherine was going to love it. Maybe even Elijah too.

**_He takes off her dress, now__l__et me go__._**

And I was out here, standing in the rain, hugging myself dry like it would change anything. I took the courage that still remained inside me that still had not run off because of the show I was getting, and peeked inside the window. They were on the couch now, making out feverishly.

**_And I just can't look. __It's killing me__, and __taking control__._**

Elijah's pants were still on. That was a good sign. Katherine though was already clad in only her underwear. And she was _on top_ of him, no less. I might have even saw her tongue flick out for a millisecond and lick his chin if I wasn't so busy trying to keep the bile from erupting from my throat.

**_Jealousy, turning __saints into the sea__, swimming through __sick lullabies__, choking on your __alibis__._**

I watched as she ground her hips against his, and that was when I knew that I couldn't take any more. I was off of their yard in a flash and in the woods. The images that played in my head made me want to vomit.

Katherine touching Elijah, Elijah touching Katherine… it was all too much to handle.

**_But it's just the price I pay._**

Combined with the fact that both Salvatore brothers couldn't help me, and the fact that my best friend probably hated my entire existence, I decided to do it.

I decided to turn it off.

**_Destiny__ is calling me._**

It was probably better if I did anyway. What did life have to offer me anymore but pain and loss? All the people that I loved didn't love me back anymore, and the people who I _used_ to love were dead, killed by the very same race that I was now a part of.

Closing my eyes, I grappled with the part of me that didn't want to do this, that still wanted to _feel_. Ultimately, of course, the latter lost, and I was submerged into a pit of nothingness.

No sadness, no pain, no loss, no fear…

**_Open up my eager eyes._**

No loneliness, no hurt, no grief, no ache in my chest…

**'_Cuz __I'm Mister Brightside__._**

And I was _happy_.

Considering the fact that I could no longer feel, however, the more appropriate term would be that I was 'celebrating'. I was celebrating, because I didn't have to live in such agony anymore. I could forget about everything; the memories of Mystic Falls, the loss of Stefan, the love that Damon had for me, the never ending hatred that I had for Katherine, the adoration that Elijah had turned down, the friendship that Bonnie had turned away from. And Caroline…

**_I never…_**

And Jeremy…

Sweet, nosy, friendly, annoying, irritating, depressed, smiling Jeremy…

**_I never…_**

It was over now. I didn't feel, and I didn't care.

I had made my choice, and I was going to stick to the pro-quo.

Say goodbye to the old Elena. Say hello to the new, fresh-faced, fresh-started Elena. The one that didn't have friends, the one that didn't _want_ friends.

**_I never…_**

The one that hated the world and loved life. The one that didn't care what other people said, and the one that no longer loved both boys of the Salvatore family.

**_I never!_**

I had started over.

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><p><strong>Review please :)<strong>


	3. Chapter 3 - DC Sleeps Alone Tonight

**updaaate ^^**

**i have nothing to say really other than i'm both happy and sad right now. :)**

**song is District Sleeps Alone Tonight - Birdy**

**feel free to listen to it while reading, though i think the song would be longer than reading this :/**

**terribly sorry.**

**I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS OF TVD.**

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><p><strong><em>Smeared black ink, your face is ashen.<em>**

**_And I'm __barely listening__ to last demands._**

I ran away from Mystic Falls that night, my mind finally settling for a simple home for myself somewhere in Chesapeake. I know right? 'Dream big' they said, well, I did. And anyway, I had an eternity to live. Why not start it where Hollywood made a movie about? For all anyone knew, I had done more memorable things than what had _supposedly_ happened there.

**_I'm staring at the asphalt, wondering what's __buried underneath where I am__…_**

And I know that you're probably thinking of how heartless I was. Well, guess what? I _was_ heartless. I turned off my emotions, remember? I didn't care what Stefan or Damon felt. Or how Bonnie and Caroline must have tried to look for me in the first weeks of my disappearance. Because the thing is, I didn't disappear. I left. There was a big difference. I didn't even bother to think about what Elijah did. He was completely content with the Petrova bitch, and I cared nothing for him anymore.

But, of course, before I went on my merry way, I had to steal a daylight ring from the Salvatores, didn't I? It was night, and it was as easy as hell to creep into their rooms while they slept with troubles expressions on their faces and steal one tiny piece of jewellery from the side tables. After that, I put it on, finished my transition by feeding on an unexpecting blonde and not even feeling a single _thing_ about it, and then I ran, no guilt whatsoever. I reached my destination in two hours or so.

I stayed there, content with my simple life as a vampire, feeding on people from time to time (killing them). But not too often for the authorities to grow suspicious, just enough to keep me living. I even took occasional swims in the bay, having my fun in seducing the guards there to come take a splash with me, and eventually getting it on with two or more, all at once, in the water. It was fun, I had to admit.

**_I wear my badge, a __vinyl sticker with big block letters__, adherent to my chest._**

Three months, I lived there; completely happy with my free, emotionless, and independent life, when something finally happened that ruined it all.

**_It tells your new friends 'I am a visitor here. I am __not permanent__.'_**

I had been taking my usual walk around town, looking for my first meal in three days. Normally, I would have waited until five, but the… _pleasure_ that I had accustomed myself to the previous night had made me want more. And no, I did not pleasure _myself_. The strip club around the corner had taken in a rather cute bartender. Stupid, but cute.

**_And __the only thing __keeping me dry is where I am…_**

Anyway, while the sun warmed my bare shoulders and sent strange tingling sensations on my skin ever since I had worn the Lapis Lazuli ring, I felt eyes boring into the back of my head. In my three months of living in secret, I had learned to follow my gut, and my gut told me that someone, a very _familiar_ someone, was watching me. I wasn't dumb enough to turn around and face the person head-on though. What I did, was I walked into a dark alleyway, leaned against the brick wall, and crossed my arms. I already knew who it was.

**_DC sleeps alone tonight… DC sleeps __alone__ tonight…_**

"Hello, Elijah." I said, letting out a sigh as my gaze fell upon him. There he stood in his usual stance, with his hands in the pockets of his trousers, the same blank expression on his face that showed that, not only did he _not_ care for me, but that he wasn't really surprised to see me here. I wanted to know how that could be.

"Hello, Elena." He replied evenly and smoothly.

**_The district sleeps alone tonight after the bars turn out their lights._**

I started twisting my ring around and around my finger. It soon gained friction as I asked, "To what do I owe the pleasure of having you find me here after three months?"

He took a swaggering step towards me, his eyes trailing up then down my body. "You left, without even a letter to the Salvatores, or to Miss Forbes, or to the Bennett witch." I straightened when Elijah shrugged, now standing right in front of me. "Honestly, I'm starting to doubt the compassion I was so sure that you had."

A smirk travelled up my lips as I remembered that he had no idea. I uncrossed my arms. "Did you really expect me to stay in that hellhole after being killed by your sister? How is she, anyway? I hope she's okay, though Matt's probably going to break her heart anytime soon. You should be there when he does, considering Klaus doesn't really care about her. How is _he_, by the way?"

**_And leave the autos swerving into the loneliest evening._**

I watched with extreme curiosity as the consistent faint smile on his face flickered, the confidence in his eyes wavering, before he backed away and inclined his head. "Niklaus is quite fine, not chasing you, thank me for that, and so is Rebekah. As far as I know, in fact, the Donovan boy is quite happy with her."

I scoffed at the impossibility of the fact, still remembering how he had broken Caroline's heart. And though I had no mind for the matter, Elijah should have known better. "Won't be long now." I started randomly picking at the loose gravel of the bricks by my side, observing the Original who had been staring at me the entire time. "Would you _please_ stop looking at me like some piece of meat?"

Elijah shook his head slightly, looking as if he had just escaped from a trance. "I'm sorry. It's just that I've noticed something… _different_ about you."

**_And I am__ finally__ seeing…_**

"Well, I got killed by being run off a bridge and then turned into a vampire by someone who I thought I could trust, right after that there was no one I could turn to …" A shadow fell across Elijah's face. I smirked. "And then there's you, Elijah Mikaelson." His eyebrows quirked upwards as I said this, and I couldn't help but laugh inside. He was going to _enjoy_ this.

**_Why I was __the one worth leaving__…_**

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><p><strong>i know it's a little short, but it was all i could do given the circumstances. very busy right now, since exams are just around the corner and i have to finish submitting all my requirements in time :P<strong>

**review :)**


	4. Chapter 4 - Eyes on Fire

**yeaahh, hahaha, sorry for the delay guys :C**

**it's been really busy this week, since it's requirements week. aka, hell week.**

**yep.**

**anyway, hope this doesn't disappoint :)**

**song is Eyes On Fire - Blue Foundation**

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><p><strong><em>I'll <em>_seek you out__, flay you alive._**

**_One more word and you __won't survive__._**

I dramatically put a finger on my chin. "You know, I think I remember that the last thing I saw before leaving Mystic Falls was you and Katherine making out passionately on a sofa." The wanted effect came, pouring over his face like water, the surprise, the embarrassment, the shock, and then the anger. And I felt no fear at all. It felt good. I let out a fake shudder just to emphasize that I _really_ saw shit go down. "It wasn't very clean, was it?"

**_And __I'm not scared__ of your stolen power._**

**_I __see__ right __through you__ anyhow._**

All of a sudden my back was against the cold wall, fingers wrapped tightly around my throat and the air refusing to go into my lungs. The little that did hurt so much that I didn't want to keep doing it. Then I remembered that I didn't really need to breathe, now did I? I stopped taking in mouthfuls of air and stared the Original straight in the eye. "Oh don't be so mad, Elijah. What's the matter? Did she leave you for Stefan? Or Damon, or Tyler, or Matt, or—"

"She's dead, Elena."

I could have rejoiced at the fact. My enemy, my mortal nemesis, was dead. Finally! Who had killed her though? I had to know, so that I would swear allegiance. Okay, not really allegiance, but maybe say a thank you or something.

Apparently, Elijah had expected some sort of apology to come out of my mouth. He was definitely surprised when I sneered and said, "Good riddance."

**_I __won't soothe__ your__ pain__. I __won't ease__ your __strain__._**

His fingers unwrapped themselves from my throat and fell back to his sides, his face a complete mask of unfeeling. I rubbed the skin under my jaw tenderly. "The world would be better off without that bitch." I spat. Then something collided with my face, and I was thrown far to the right.

I soon found out that it was his hand that had slapped me so hard I flew off. "What the hell, Elijah?!" I looked up to meet his eyes, and they were filled with a fire of hurt, and betrayal, and anger, and sadness, and everything that could have possibly been in-between.

"You know that I loved her." He growled, taking a threatening step towards me.

**_You'll be waiting __in vain__. I got __nothing__ for you to gain._**

I sneered again, wiping the blood that had trickled from my mouth, and stood up. "_I don't care_."

Something flashed in his eyes—recognition?—and then he was in front of me in a second, his dark pupils searching mine. I found myself taking an alarmed step back as his index finger pushed my chin upwards. He pursed his lips, pulling his hand away. I whipped my head back, tearing my gaze away from his. He asked, "You turned off your emotions. Why?" his calculating gaze burned holes into me.

**_I'm taking it slow, __feeding my flame__._**

I sighed, thinking that I might as well. "It doesn't really matter if I keep it a secret now, does it?" sliding down the brick wall and letting my butt plunk down onto the gravel ground; I patted the asphalt beside me, encouraging Elijah to sit. He did, if not rather hesitantly, and then I started explaining. "I won't take so much of your time going through the whole story, so I'll just get on with it.

"All those months of working together to stop Klaus, I felt my feelings for you changing. You changed from this person I hated and wanted dead, to this person that I wanted so badly to protect. I don't think I loved you before, but when I turned…"

"Your emotions were heightened." He finished for me. I nodded, and let my head hit the wall behind me.

**_Shuffling the cards of your game__, and just in time._**

**_In the right place._**

"Life's pretty fucked up, huh?" He didn't answer, and I turned my head to look at him. He seemed to be thinking pretty hard on something. I cut in before things could get worse. "I'm not turning it back on, Elijah. I watched you kiss her, I was jealous, and it _hurt_. This is who I am now. And I know that you're thinking that you might be able to change me back, but you can't. You should just stay away if you know what's good for you." The threat didn't work as it was supposed to, because that familiar glint in his eyes returned when he looked at me.

"Now why should I do that when I've got such a better plan in store for you?" And then I wasn't there anymore. His arms had wrapped themselves around me swiftly, and we were running through the streets of Chesapeake, then the forest, then just plain nowhere. That was when he finally put him down and when I punched him in the face. He didn't seem surprised that I did though, because he laughed, making me scowl in frustration.

**_Suddenly I will __play my ace__._**

"Where the _hell_ are we, Elijah?" I yelled, already looking around, though there seemed to be nothing to take note of that could have hinted where we were standing.

Elijah was rubbing his jaw leisurely when I looked back to him. "Let's just say that no one will be able to disturb us here."

"Disturb us? Wha—?" he pulled in another form from behind him, someone that he must have dragged along our way here. It was a boy, probably still in college, with matted blonde hair and grey eyes.

**_I __won't soothe__ your __pain__. I __won't ease__ your __strain__._**

**_You'll be waiting __in vain__. I got __nothing__ for you to gain._**

He looked like Matt, slightly, if it weren't for the completely terrified and girly look on his face. "Who are you? Where am I? How'd you do that?"

And while he continued rambling on, I waved a limp hand to Elijah, whom the boy was punching in vain. I let an amused expression onto my face. "Do you really think this will work? I've let men molest me in water before killing them and not even thinking twice about it. You're gonna have to try harder than this."

Elijah only nodded, throwing the boy down onto the ground, but not before taking a juicy bite from his neck. I smiled to myself as soon as the delicious scent of blood entered my nose. "More food for me then." I took a step towards them, but then the Original did something I had not expected. He whistled loudly, making me flinch because of the sudden piercing sound.

**_Eyes on fire__, your spine is ablaze._**

**_Felling any foe with __my gaze__, and just in time._**

And then Damon Salvatore stepped into the clearing, Stefan trailing him smoothly. "Hello again, Elena." One of them said. I didn't care which one; they were both equally going to be my death.

**_In the right place, steadily __emerging with grace__._**

Gulping down the fear, I crossed my arms. "Is Klaus with you too?" once again, none of them answered, and I saw Elijah smirk inwardly. It made me question their true motives. My suspicions were confirmed when Caroline Forbes stepped into the clearing, dragging an unconscious Matt after her.

**_Felling any foe with __my gaze__…_**

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><p><strong>review :)<strong>


	5. Chapter 5 - Running Up That Hill

**Running Up That Hill - Placebo (listen to it while reading this. it improves the atmosphere ;) )**

**I know, guys, I _know_ this is very overdue, AND I'M SO SORRY.**

**there's just been exams, and requirements, and all this hassle with moving out, it's just been HELL here.**

**so without further a due, here's the second to the last chapter! :)**

**I DO NOT OWN THE VAMPIRE DIARIES OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS INVOLVED IN THIS STORY.**

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><p><strong><em>It doesn't <em>_hurt me__…_**

**_You __wanna feel__ how it feels?_**

Caroline was gentle with Matt. She even set him down by a tree trunk, which was not a very smart idea considering Damon was right beside it, smiling wickedly at him, then me. Resisting the urge to punch him, I settled for a cold-hearted glare. And while Damon remained as smug, Stefan's and Elijah's eyebrows furrowed into these thick lines. It almost made me laugh.

"Hello, Matt." I said, sighing as I walked up to him and leaned in, whispering, "How's the whole Rebekah thing?"

**_You wanna know, __know that it doesn't hurt me__?_**

"Elena? Wha—Rebekah? She's… we're fine… Where are we?"

The whole play of being stupid wasn't very believable. They probably already knew that, but I decided to rub it in their faces, _particularly_ Damon's. So: "Did you drug him or something?" I pointed out, laughing as I poked Matt on the arm. Looking back to Damon, I saw him flash me a half smile, while Stefan's and Elijah's remained blank and deadly serious. Rolling my eyes, I said, "_You two_ don't know how to laugh."

"Actually I did," Stefan said, "_before_ you left, that is."

"Likewise." Elijah continued.

I narrowed my eyes at him, wondering why he was even there, before pointing my glare to Stefan. "So, why _are_ you here?"

**_You wanna hear about the __deal I'm making__?_**

**_You, __you and me__…_**

Of course, Stefan just couldn't resist his urges of talking to me again. And something inside me knew that he was just hurting inside. And whereas, if I hadn't turned my emotions off I would be snuggling close to him in an effort to calm him down, now, I merely watched his inside struggle with himself to _not_ kiss me.

"Well," he started, "Caroline here just would not stop bugging me and Damon to give it another try. So we thought, why not?"

I smiled to myself. "You all _really_ are a bunch of idiots." Stepping away from the tree, I spread my arms wide out just to show how _wide_ their bars of idiocy were. "Do you really think I'd want to change back to the old Elena you all held dear? My life, for _three months_, was absolutely perfect. No anger, no fear, no love"—I looked to Elijah, feeling a sense of self-satisfaction at the recognition that flashed in his eyes—"perfect."

**_And if I only could make a deal with God, and get him to __swap our places__._**

**_I'd be __running up that road__, I'd be __running up that hill__, I'd be __running up that building__…_**

The look on Caroline's face was so absolutely pleasing I just had to go on. "Aw, don't be sad knowing that my life was hell with you and Bonnie, Caroline. Know this though:" I leaned closer to her face until our noses were practically touching. "It _was_ hell, and I have _no_ regrets in leaving. The world's so much more enjoyable without Bitchy and Bitchier at my side."

The tears that surfaced in her eyes were prominent. I gave her a big pout, and she sniffled, the same way that she did when she came to me when she had Tyler problems before. She asked, "Isn't it lonely?"

**_If__ I only could…_**

Grinning from cheek to cheek, I answered, stepping away and looking to Stefan. "No, actually. I always took the time to pull out a hot, and so incredibly gullible, guy in the street before taking him back home and, you know, _getting it on_." I didn't miss the way Damon scoffed and the way Elijah looked away, bringing his hand to his jaw and rubbing it. I most certainly didn't miss the way Stefan snapped his head up to look at me, hurt evident in his eyes. It had been way too long since I had that much fun. I decided to push it further. "You'd know all about that, won't you, Stefan? You _were_ called the 'Ripper of Monteray' for a reason, weren't you? I'm surprised that you quit the job, honestly! Do you mind if I take your spot?"

"_Enough_!" I heard Elijah exclaim from behind me, followed by a grunt that distinctively came from Matt. I whipped my head to the side, hoping to see the snapped neck of the blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy I cared nothing about. Instead, I saw the older Mikaelson sibling holding him up like a pig for slaughter by the scruff of his jacket. There was something in his eyes that looked like the red haze of anger. It was refreshing enough to see him like that compared to the other times where there was only emotionless brown staring back at me.

"_You_ are acting like a spoiled brat, Elena Gilbert." He said, and for the first time, he raised his voice.

"Well lookie here! The big, bad Elijah Mikaelson finally decided to show his anger towards me!" I yelled, raising my eyebrows to Stefan, Damon, and Caroline in mock-surprise.

**_You don't __wanna hurt me__? But do you see how __deep the bullet lies__?_**

"You think that we can't punish you?" Elijah asked, effectively wiping the smile off my face. "Maybe not… but it would be _very_ easy to punish him." His finger found its way towards Matt's neck. Something happened that I never thought would ever happen again after that fated night. A large pit grew in my stomach. I could feel its hollowness as I stared at the boy who had done nothing to deserve what was about to happen to him. Something cracked inside me. My composure, my heart, my lungs...

_... The dam._

"Elena…." My name came out of Matt's mouth, barely a whisper beneath his panicked heartbeats.

**_Unaware that __I'm tearing you asunder__, there's a thunder in our hearts, baby._**

I sighed, forcing the dread to go away, forcing _myself_ to believe that they really wouldn't hurt Matt. "Seriously, guys, this is—"

"Silence." Elijah's hiss stopped me from saying anything else, and that was when I felt another crack. I knew that Damon and Stefan would never have the heart to hurt Matt, but would Elijah? He was an Original, after all, a man who had lived on the face of the earth for more than a hundred years. He had nothing to lose after having lost his Katerina. "I am _finished _acting the godfather for you, Elena. Turn your emotions back on _right now_, or _so help me God_, I will _give_ you something to be sad about." His hand tightened around the back Matt's neck, and I stifled a gasp at the back of my throat.

**_There's so much hate for the ones we __love__. Tell me, we both matter, __don't we__?_**

**_You, you and me, won't be __unhappy__._**

Something told me that he wasn't joking. "Elijah…" I started, putting on my best 'I'm not impressed' look. It didn't work.

He forced Matt onto his knees. I heard Caroline start sobbing beside me, and knew that this was really happening. Elijah shook his head, a sad smile forming on the corner of his lips. "I'll do it, Elena. I swear on my remaining family's existence, _I will do it_." Damon had muttered something, but I was too out of focus to actually notice.

**_And if I only could make a deal with God, and get him to __swap our places__…_**

And yet, I still refused to yield, thinking _"Elijah would never do something like this."_ How stupid I was at the time. Raising my chin, I all but spat the same words that he had told me that time at the lake house, "I'm going to have to call your bluff, Elijah."

There was a gruesome snap, and then Matt fell onto the ground, dead.

_**If I only could…**_

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><p><strong>so yeah, this was kind of based on what Damon did to bring back Elena's humanity, but Delena is so mainstream! and i like Elejah better anyway. i changed most of the dialogue to make it sound like an Elejah interaction ;)<strong>

**anyway, review :)**


	6. Chapter 6 - Wish I Stayed

**Here it is guyssss :"3**

**last chapter! ^^**

**thanks for staying!**

**and for the last time, I DO NOT OWN THE VAMPIRE DIARIES.**

**P.S. song is Wish I Stayed by Ellie Goulding. listen to it while reading this, if you may OwO**

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><p><strong><em>Why can't we <em>_speak another language__, one we all __agree__ on?_**

**_Why, when __men look outside__, they __see houses__, instead of the __fields__ they grew from?_**

Something shattered inside me. I don't know if it was my heart, or my lungs, or my ribcage, or something else that was vital. All I knew was that there was a burning pain in my chest, and that it kept getting hotter and hotter with every second that I stared down at the boy I had known all my life. He was just _lying_ there, his eyes staring and his neck too bent for it to have not been broken.

_Matt's dead._

Tears had started flowing out my eyes and down my cheeks as the pain grew worse, making me weak and fragile. I vaguely felt hands touching my arms and shoulders, and fingers caressing my face in vain attempts to soothe me. It wouldn't have worked in a million years.

Matt, the only one who hadn't turned his back on me in all of this, had been killed. And it was my fault.

It was my fault because if I had just gotten out of my own way, I could have saved him. It was my fault because if I hadn't just been too lost in my own mind to notice everything that was going on, then he wouldn't be dead so young. If I had just been brave enough to accept what they wanted me to, then he would still have the choice to go to college or not.

**_We are constantly uprooted from them, making us __tired and fearful__._**

And I just felt _so guilty_. I didn't know that it was possible to hurt so much, but it did. And right at that moment, I swear that anything could have been better.

**_Can you get up right now, __endeavour to free-fall__?_**

Everything that I felt, everything that hurt, the feeling in my chest that was like I couldn't breathe, it was all as if a dam had broken inside me. Hadn't Stefan mentioned something about this kind of thing? That when you finally turned on your humanity again, it was like you were drowning?

It seemed like my whole life was underwater. First the accident on the bridge with my parents, then that crash with Matt, and now this. When would my life ever surface to the world of the above? Where it was so easy to breathe? Where water wouldn't choke me every time I tried to smell the fresh air?

**'_Cuz __you can fall__ if you want to, it's just a matter of __how far__._**

The crushing pressure was too much to handle. I felt myself collapsing onto the ground beside Matt's unmoving body, sobs racking through my body with every breath I took. And there, one of my friends lied, his eyes staring at the nothingness above him. When I thought the pain couldn't get any worse, it did. A branding iron shoved itself between my ribcage, hitting my heart square, straight on. I didn't bother to pull it out anymore. What good would it have done? _Matt's dead._ I thought again.

**_You've __treasured your hometown__. You've __forgotten where you are__._**

Through the grey haze that had taken over my eyesight, I saw everything that was happening around me. Caroline was murmuring discreetly with Stefan, Damon listening in intently as he stared at me, and... Was that a smile on his face? I would have thrust a stray branch into his balls right then and there if I wasn't so damn depressed. And then it hit me.

_Elijah did this._

Where was he? I snapped my head side to side, viciously looking for the heartless man that had murdered my friend, and found him not a second after kneeling before me, his hand on Matt's. Why was he the one mourning? He was the one who had killed him! And I was just about to do him the same favour when he suddenly gripped Matt's wrist. Bringing it up, a relieved gasp tore its way from my throat as I saw what was on his finger.

**_And __it will stay with you__ 'til your mind's been found._**

**_And __it has been found__, __wandering around__._**

The ring that curled itself around the bottom of Matt's finger was both his treasure, and his curse. He would always be brought back to life if he wanted so. If he didn't, he would never find peace. I was hoping more on the first though. Matt didn't deserve to live his life suicidal. Elijah let the hand drop back down onto Matt's stomach, and I grappled onto it for dear life. The warmth was already flooding through him. He would gasp awake any minute, and I wanted to be by his side when he did. But Elijah didn't.

He pulled me off of the ground and onto my feet, making me snarl in defiance. His grip around my arm tightened, and I winced. He probably knew exactly how hard he was holding me but didn't care. His eyes met mine in _the_ moment of truth, and I felt myself slowly melting into his hold. "Can we talk?" Elijah asked. Nodding my head, we left the Salvatores and Caroline to watch and take care of Matt.

**_It's just the simple ways of getting paid, the __carelessness of running away__._**

**_I wish I stayed, __I wish I stayed__…_**

Elijah led me out of the nowhere-place and into the outskirts of the city again. I was shocked when we reached a cliff and I found myself looking down at the bright lights of the buildings below.

And while I was content with watching the cars zooming through the grey rivers between structures, Elijah wasn't. "Elena, I know that you must abhor me right now, but—"

**_Why do I always draw triangles instead of __words that this paper deserves__?_**

**'_Cuz you see, __I don't own my clothes__, __but I own my mind__…_**

"You killed Matt." The words slipped out of my mouth like running water. And like running water, I had no regrets in not being able to take them back; though the look of defiance crossed Elijah features as he nodded his head. "You killed him, Elijah, _in cold blood_. Do you really expect me to forgive you? And not just that," the images from that night came rushing back, and I had to fight down the bile from erupting. It burned my throat, but it was pain worth experiencing. I wasn't going to barf in front of an Original any time soon. Not that I was going to say that I was completely, and utterly jealous of Katherine that night. There were more reasons than that. "You plotted against me with Stefan and Damon Salvatore when I left you and your family _in peace_, and don't you forget about that time when you left me in that _cave_, with your murderous sister. I could have died!"

"I was only protecting what mattered most to me. Don't _you_ forget the time that you would have done the same." He retorted, his tone completely critical.

"It hurt, Elijah! That was why I did it in the first place!"

**_And __it's not what you've lost__, but __it's what you find__._**

The man was in front of me in a millisecond, staring deeply into my eyes as I stared into his, lost in the intensity of the moment. He asked, "Why didn't you tell me that it had hurt?" his hand, as if on its own, moved to pull back a strand of my hair that had fallen out of place. He tucked it behind my ear in the gentlest way possible.

"Would you have cared?" I whispered back, closing my teary eyes as I savoured the feeling of his skin brushing against my cheek. "Would you have looked out for me?" As much as I hated to admit, now that the emotions were back, so was what I felt for this man.

**_With that __skipping rope__, the __trampoline__, the __craft smoke__ that __made us choke__._**

I opened my eyes again, and was surprised to find his mouth bruising against mine in a passionate kiss. It was heated, and desperate, looking for redemption. And I gave it to Elijah as I kissed him back with the same fervour. When he finally pulled away, the same glint in his eye was there again as he smiled, whispering, "I will always look out for you, lovely Elena. Always," he kissed me on the cheek, gently, "and forever." At that moment, I knew that my life was going to be a living hell. I had fallen in love with an Original. But also some part of me said, _It's going to be worth it._

Smiling at the first happy thought I'd had in months, I let Elijah take me in his arms and lead me away.

**_But __we didn't give up hope__._**

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><p><strong>Happy endings are awesome, right guys? ;)<strong>

**love you all! see you in my next fanfiction if you're interested in it :))**


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